Friday, November 22, 2013

Graceful Exit

Hi Bloggy! I know, I know how busy I was (but should not be a reason for leaving you behind) and completely lost touch of you but I know you're always there, you're always and will always be a part of my journey. A witness to the ups and downs, to the emotional roller coaster ride I went through. But yes, here I am now but sad that the updates I have may not be as happy and as joyful as I want them to be. But this is life, everything that comes along painful or not should be a celebration of life. I can vividly remembered last year when I went to the Shrine and lit 39 candles and prayed for a blossoming of romance and it was an answered prayer. I was jubilant. I was me. I was happy. I was high. I was grateful for allowing me to feel love and be loved again. It was an amazing discovery of feelings, exploration of limits, of boundaries, of space,of myself. And for the first time, I claimed to be "officially us" but no commitment (maybe referred to as open relationship?) just enjoy the company of each other and then work part us far from each other, and then the constant communication drifted slowly from calls to few text. Lately, I realized that something is not right. I realized I am not sure now whether I like an open relationship or not. I can be clingy and can be possessive which can turn off a partner. But what can you do when you discover that your partner is happier in the arms of somebody else where true love is being shared with the fruit of their love? I feel guilty and even without discussion, I feel, I strongly feel now that I need to exit gracefully, or simply just fade away. I am not angry nor miserable,in fact I am happy to see my love happy. You see? destiny is destiny and we can never defy it no matter what rules we impose or what label we use. So I say, till the next script and for now...you will just be a friend in my script and I am really happy for the affection you have showed. We may not have spoken yet but I guess this is it. See you when I see you.