Random thoughts of a day in limbo

I don't know I just kinda felt like my day was filled with different emotions. I was too excited with the news that I already have a flight schedule going home. I miss home. I just wanna be home and take some refuge. Then I chatted with my former National Volunteer/Translator and we kind of reminisce the time we worked together. I was just so touched by her words that she longed to work with me again. That she valued so much my advise in regards to her professional career. I think these are the things that reaffirm my being who I am. I know who I am but it's different when you hear appreciations from people you've worked with. It's just so refreshing. Xiexie. I was about to take my short walk in the park to eliminate some toxins but I got a call from my NV that some local partners are coming to the office to fill up some forms that the funding org sent which needs to be submitted tomorrow by 12 noon. What? Yes, it's 8 in the evening and they're coming. Surprise, surprise I told you.

Then I saw this video from youtube posted by Nax Joan on our website and I strongly feel we all have to do our share in fighting climate change. So I encourage everyone if you care, do your share!

Let's take a stand to combat climate change. Watch the video below.



For more info about the campaign, please visit http://www.earthhour.org

For easy-to-read materials about Climate Change, visit this site:
http://www.ace.mmu.ac.uk/eae/climate_change/climate_change.html

I Love You, Goodbye!

Nope, It’s not what you’re thinking (LOL)! Stop it! It’s like this.

Barely 7 weeks left and I am about to wrap up another placement with VSO. I can’t imagine time flies so fast. I didn’t notice I am already 2 years in China. Forward is always forward. I have to move on and flip another page. But the sad thing all the time about leaving is “saying goodbye” to the people who have been a significant part of your personal and professional life here in China. This is the stage in the volunteering journey I hate so much because it involved a myriad of emotions so difficult to contain.

To be saying goodbye this early is truly a surprise to me. Indeed, China never ceases to surprise me. Last Saturday, my colleague, the PLWHA Support Group and I worked overtime (call of duty) to re-polish proposal they have developed and hopefully reach on time to the funding agency. It was challenging because it was their first time to develop a proposal. It was equally challenging on my part guiding them through to the proposal guidelines to conceptualizing a project for people living with HIV and AIDS. We started at 2:30 and finished at around 8:00 p.m. I was tired. It was a long day. As they drove us home, the word “party” popped out. A women group in the village I have occasionally attended to whenever they invite me for public seminar or a lecture is holding a party and they’re inviting us, and it’s right now! Wow, (the only word I mumbled) the shortest of all short notices I have received ever. Although, short notices are common, I still feel like, wow! They were persistent, and I can sense my colleague was also excited so I relented. We arrived at around 9 pm in the house of the Village Doctor and spent few minutes chatting with the people around. Chinese hospitality has always overwhelmed me. My stomach hasn’t finished his job yet and here we are again about to overload our digestive organs. It’s just so difficult to refuse an offer. Tea was served along with rice pancake with natural honey and apple. Figuratively, It’s like a scene (always) of haggling for something ‘til you open your mouth and push the food in into your digestive system. I felt like gluttony is consuming me that evening. I was wondering what time the party would start as it was already half past 9. On our way, we stopped by this stocks of raw sugarcane piled along the road and apparently the Village Doctor owns them. He insisted of us bringing some home. Again, we relented and started to pack the car with few sticks.

The Village Doctor who is a man by the way successfully organized this group while also assisting the Support group of PLWHAs I am helping. We arrived in the village activity center where women members rehearsing an ethnic dance for the Spring Festival (Chinese New Year). There were around 23 members present. So I asked my colleague, where do you think is the party? His only reply was I also do not know. So I thought maybe I lost in translation again. The women welcomed us warmly and invited us to join them in their dance rehearsal. They were ecstatic to see my footwork in ethnic dance. It was cool, I thought. I love dancing anyway so I am not a pain in the ass (LOL).

After few minutes, we were ushered to the meeting room and offered tea. I realized that the “party” is actually a meeting of some sort. My colleague told me that this meeting was held for me. "Oh okay" were the only words I mumbled. So the “saying goodbye” has just begun. I was so surprised and touched by the gesture of the whole club. I was guilty of thinking about the short notice and everything. It was a night of sharing good memories and how they came to like me, the qualities they saw in me (SOS! Somebody must write this portion, as I don’t want to sound boastful). It was an evening of sincere praises. This is what I like working overseas, I feel like a star (LOL). I feel like I am their Brad Pitt (my friends at home please stop complaining it’s their opinion let’s respect that, okay?(LOL). But what really touched my heart that night was when they shared to me what they can not forget about me and I quote “You taught us how to use condom (LOL). Before we thought that condom is dirty and that we don’t even want to touch it. But after you demonstrated condom use in the community – we are not ashamed anymore how to teach others and talking about condom has started to become an ordinary thing as compared before. We still need to reach for more so that they can protect themselves from HIV”. Hearing these words from these women gave me sweat in a very cold evening I have to remove my coat. I really don’t have indicators to measure change in the people I have worked with. As HIV and AIDS Project Advisor, this is already something I can consider significant change. Any change in the community I am working with big or small as long as the community identified it as significant is a real achievement to me. I am satisfied and happy knowing that I carved something in the hearts and minds of these women.

Surprises, surprises, I wonder what awaits me on the day I leave Longchuan. If I can only leave Longchuan without a trace…I know it’s impossible.

I Love you all but I have to say goodbye. Till our paths crosses again!

Can we really make our own destiny?

This question has been bogging my mind after chatting with my cousin few days ago whose heart is taken by storm by opps I am not allowed to divulge. I am under contract of confidentiality (LOL).

Can we really make our destiny is a question that my mental inbox has been brimming with so many different thoughts difficult to assort and discern. It all started in the blog of my cousin titled “The Masochist in Us” read post in detail at http://enelya-thehopelessromantic.blogspot.com/2009/01/masochist-in-us.htm.In this post, she thoroughly explained why human beings are masochist. She is resolved with that. At the backdrop of this post, I can see a young woman who is going through a journey of pain in loving. A young woman bombarded with uncertainties of taking risk. A young woman who is indeed a masochist. But do you think her decision to keep her feelings towards the man she affectionately desire will bring her to her destiny?

So our exchange of thoughts segued to destiny. I am sure this one is a famous line - “Destiny is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice”, others firmly believe that “We make our own destiny”. I used to believe that destiny is defined by the choices and decisions we make everyday. But hey wait, what is destiny by the way? Is it the ultimate destination of living? Is it a process in itself as we journey through life? Is it the realization of ones dreams? Is it an oasis of life? I just realize now that we can indeed make decisions but not our destiny. My definition now of destiny is that “It is what it is”. A state in life where change is constant. Each of us has its own destiny. Whether we are in the state of living our dreams or we failed to achieve our goals - is destiny. We make decisions to reach our desired destinies but there’s no guarantee that the decisions we make can bring us to the destiny we envision. I don’t want to sound fatalistic and negative because I am not. I do believe that the most important thing is we make each day a learning platform that we can progress towards the achievement of our goals. We have to give our best shots at whatever we do to make meaning and purpose in living.

I do believe that we are not alone in this universe. We co-exist with other entities or bodies beyond our recognition and these entities can have a yin-yang influence on the decisions and choices we make everyday. There are many events in our lives that are beyond our control, beyond our grasp. I thought this is the very essence of what we call “the Wheel of Life” as they say “Bilog ang Mundo” (the world is round). Whatever we do in our lives, destiny will find and bring us to where we rightly belong. Our positive disposition, outlook and how we carry our selves however greatly influence the wheel of life. When we feel good about ourselves – there seem to be a confluence of the different cosmic energies that bring rewards and positive outcome.

Twist of fate is part of destiny that I am talking about. Let us use the subject of love to illustrate this point. People fall in love, out of love and they make decisions. Breaking up is hard to do the same thing as my cousin was pointing out that it is difficult to open up a feeling towards someone she’s resolved of the possible outcome. In this kind of scenario, do you think her decision will make up her destiny? Maybe not. Khalil Gibran – famous author and Nobel Peace Prize winner says in his book “Love will find you and dare not direct the course of love for if love finds you worthy will direct it’s course”. So no matter what kind of decision we make there is really no telling what happens at the end of the day. There are many flicks about love that we enjoyed watching in our fave theaters showing the mystery of love and mind you we also find this unfolding before our very eyes in the lives of the ordinary people around us. Read: Love is blind. Another cliché is “If your sweetie gives up the relationship, free him or her – if he/she comes back then is yours to keep”. Power of Karma is true: “what goes around comes around, what goes up must come down”.
We are all passers by in this universe and I think we should continue to dream and strive to find meaning in life and in the end believe in our hearts that one day destiny will find us.

Talent Extraordinaire

This video is to help my friend Rizza who is working on disabilities raise awareness regarding "DIFFERENTLY ABLED" and their untapped capabilities. I hope through this video (courtesy of youtube) we could help fight injustice and equality towards them. Sit back and relax this video will hit the deepest recesses of your being and will give you goosebumps.

Promoting condom-use in your community with humor

This video (Condom Song - Telugu) is courtesy of Budcare (Youtube). I thought this is cool, highly informative and entertaining. Anyone knows where Telugu is? Enjoy.

Fave music that inspires me - all the time

This video is a tribute to all Volunteers and OFWs around the globe who gave their life selflessly for the Country - Kudos everyone!


To all those who are dreaming - let's believe in our hearts that we can go the distance!



Who can forget Charice Pempengco who blew the world away with her stunning performances and made Filipinos so proud. Her story tells us that no matter how many times you stumble, do not lose grip of your dreams for in HIS time your star will shine.


For those who are suffering, in trouble, in love and out of love - remember all the time that the great one heals all wounds. Just believe in him.

Wrapping up New Year's Day

Over all it was a very peaceful new year. I was relaxed and calm. Good sign. One of the Chinese beliefs is that you have to wash your feet before 12 midnight or better yet take a bath. My God, It was too cold - I chose to wash my feet. While waiting for new year, I had fun voice chatting with my friends in the Philippines and Sri lanka. It was really cool. Slept at 3:00 am.

Jiayou! Jiayou! Jiayou! (pronounced as Chayo, Chayo, Chayo - quite an unintelligible language - the pinyin is the sound of the chinese characters and I really find no connection or whatsoever between the spelling and its pronounciation. Anyway, Jiayou means come on when they cheer up anyone.

Those were the sound that woke me up at around 8:30 in the morning. Half awake I peeped on my window pane and saw people young and old congregate in the middle of the road just in front of the Government building. Nope it was not a street demonstartion or protest (no way it's not possible here). I tried to scan the street and saw police men, firemen and some military blocking the road. With the word Jiayou, I realized there must be some kind of a competition going on. Students cheered Jiayou! Jiayou!, Jiayou! energetically to participants of the game. It was a mini-olympics hosted by the local government. Somehow it raised the festive mood of the people including me. I wasn't able to get back to sleep so I decided to take my favorite breakfast Mi xin and Yo tiao (see attached photo). Mi xian is a fresh, hot and spicy noodles. You put lemon in it to add flavor and then a pinch of salt, MSG, pepper and a little of oil, sesame seeds, spring onions, ginger and a lot more depending on your taste. Mi xin is actually similar to our famous "Bulalo" in the Philippines and Yo tiao is similar to "pilipit" in Davao minus the sugar. It's made up of flour and is cooked by deep frying.

I occupied myself window shopping together with a friend and culminated our new year in a sumptous dinner.

Tha's how I spent my new day away from home. I hope this year would bring us closer to living our dreams. Keep on dreaming everyone.