The Message!

Hello everyone. I know, I know I promised to get back after my post last week but apologies I wasn’t able to keep up to that promise. I thought it was bad idea to share with you some negative news but also on the other hand it might be sensible to share the lessons and message we learn from the things we experience. I was again hit the third time by “gouty arthritis”. Yes, at this young age I am already keeping with several bouts of this chronic disease. But I am a survivor, definitely! I was still alive and kicking during the Halloween party at home with my siblings, nieces and nephews but indeed you will never know what’s in store for everyone of us tomorrow. A fact of life I now embrace!

At one point I felt helpless and useless as I was limping in pain. I realized it’s no joke to be disabled by certain disease. It was just difficult moving around hopping in with one foot. My right leg was swollen it was impossible to make use of it.

Learning and in keeping with the things I realized from the 2 episodes when I was in China, I kept myself fit by having regular (in fact, religious) belly dancing and watching my diet but still the 3rd episode was inevitable. I reckon all my efforts were futile but on a deeper contemplation, I managed to entangle the mesh and decipher some meanings and important message it is trying to cut across – I can’t just ignore this. I was then anxious and as Paolo Coelho puts it “gradually, the anxiety gives way to contemplation and, and I start to listen to my soul”.

On deeper thought, I realized that at this very moment my life is like a big sheet of canvass. Nothing in it! I suddenly asked myself: What have you done to your life? It might seem an easy question but trust me I can not answer it.

At the moment I am jobless. In fact, 6 months already of being jobless in the Philippines. I am sick and it just dawned on me I have no medical, accident or life insurance to ensure that I can be taken cared of in times like this. I used to have a life insurance, in fact I was just waiting for its maturity but I have to surrender my plan as my insurer was on the brink of bankruptcy. My Pag-Ibig and SSS account are also inactive because I haven’t given my contribution for several years now and all my financial loans were being offset from my premiums. I am not financially liquid as my back account starting to drain.

I strongly believed that “everything that had to happen happened” – there are no accidents, each has reason and purpose. With all of these scenarios happening right now with my life – I felt I need to weigh everything, consider my prospects in life, understand the situation and decide what’s best for me.

Thank you Lord for giving me pain because it is only then that I become closer to you, to myself and to my soul.

“If you are not going to change direction, you are probably heading to where you are going” – Confucius